American culture: still totally insane

First and foremost: hell yeah, Mr. Obama! Thank you, America, not just for electing the guy I wanted, but for getting out there and voting at all. In record numbers. If democracy's going to work, WE, the masses have to take responsibility for it, and that means, at the very least, voting. Of course, there are serious flaws in the democratic aspect of a representative democracy, but that's a whole rant unto itself. For now, we work with what we have, and at this moment, I can say, without any sarcasm: America, fuck yeah!

So, I went to bed last night feeling more patriotic than I have in a matter of years, and this morning, to rein in all that sentimental, feel-goody-ness, I did the most American thing I could think to do. I went to Disney World.

Actually, Epcot, which is the closest I want to get to Disney World, short of conducting an anthropological survey, and even that's a stretch. Lemme splain. I happen to be on a family vacation in Orlando at the moment (yeah, I know), and we had planned on going to Epcot the Wednesday following the election, that is, today. No causality there, that was just the plan (and god, if my family can plan something, ANYTHING, I am not rocking that boat). So, there I was, riding an uncharacteristic wave of pro-America enthusiasm when we strolled up to the ticket counter. 75 bucks for a day at Epcot. 70. 5. Dollars. Plus tax. Really, Disney? Damn. I'll go ahead and say right now, for this post, Disney= America. Indoctrination of American youth, American middle class, American myth. It's all practically synonymous. And 75 smackaroos for one day in a theme park that already is overcharging for stuff on the inside and already isn't hurting, come whatever economic crisis, this doesn't cry 'America' to me. Or rather it does, a lot. Cue waning of love of country. We may be taking a step in the right direction politically, but culturally, well, there we are.

I knew going into the park that I was in for insupportable Disney music all day, little kids running around thinking they're having these magic moments, not realizing they're being programmed (I honestly can't hold them totally accountable for this), and creepy as hell automatons. And I think I handled all this pretty well. What really bowled me over was the American Adventure in the American Theatre thingy in the World Showcase. I know, I know- what was I expecting, but a sappy, jingostic account of history with songs and those god damned robots? Well, it was still enough to make me cringe. But enough kvetching, because I should've known better.

Here's what totally rocked about Epcot:
Again, in the world Showcase section/ whatever, there's a Norway pavillion where you go on this stupid ride thing (automatons a plenty!) that represents Norway. The narrator sounded like a cross between Dracula and Swedish Chef, and damn, if that didn't make my morning.

Then I got to use my knowledge of the Norwegian language- which encompasses the word for 'thanks,'- at the over priced gift shop to get a chocolate bar called Daim. As in daim, that is some sweet candy, you might say. Yeah, language practice is nice. I will say this for Disney- at the world show case, they have Norwegians in the Norway Pavillion, Germans in the German Pavillion, etc. If nothing else, this adds another glorious level to the hyper/ surreality of a Disney theme park. Forget Waldo, find authenticity! Whee!

Later on, I was filling up my 2 dollar water bottle at a fountain (take THAT, Dis!) when I heard these two kids playin around behind me. Their repartee is as follows:
Kid 1- O yeah, well you're a freak. You're a freak-a-zoid!
Kid 2- You're a freak of nature!
Kid 1- YOU're a freak of ... Norway!
Rock on, little kids. Rock on.

Finally, on the closest thing they have to a roller coaster out there, I sat next to this tiny girl who A) wasn't wearing a princess costume, and 2. was going 'faster! whoo!' the whole time. They're not all conforming to their gender roles. Not totally, not yet. There is hope.